Red Flags

Red flags... sometimes we ignore them.

I knew before our date that he wouldn't be the guy I would bring home to my parents, but I was excited when the good-looking trainer at my gym asked me out. The red flags were there from the moment we first started flirting at the gym, chatting on the phone and texting. (BTW he is an extremely entertaining texter.) When I expressed my reservations to my mother she reminded me that it's never a bad thing to be seen on a date with a great looking guy and well, you never know...

I had no idea what I was in for.

The date started out promising. Turns out he looks good in jeans as well as board shorts! But soon after we placed our orders at the restaurant I realized I wasn't going to do much of the talking and I wasn't sure I really wanted to hear what he had to say. This must be what guys go thru when a beautiful woman goes on and on about her eating disorder, ex boyfriends, and addiction issues. I felt like a dude, but I wanted him to stop talking and, I don't know, maybe kiss me! After awhile I stopped wishing he would shut up and instead just let him ramble on while I fantasized about our vacation together on a tropical island and wondered if he would pack his old Chippendales costume, it couldn't possibly take up too much room. Every 10 min or so I would get jolted back to reality by another glaring flag - exwife, maybe two but for sure one... that he actually saw earlier today?what? -- back to the palm trees -- did he just say his bathroom would make a good pot farm? -- back to the bowtie without a shirt -- rehab for coke addiction -- back to his teeth, could they be any whiter? -- he adds vodka to the vitamin water he drinks while training clients? -- wait, if we dated would he train me for free?!! I was so confused, do I run or dive head first in to those beautiful green eyes. I started to plan how I could spin this to my family and friends... a Chippendales dancer is more like a member of a performing dance company, not a group of male strippers, right?

I received a cute voicemail and a few texts after that night, but that was our one and only date. The way I look at it, he actually did me a big favor by never asking me out again. I did myself another favor by finally removing his number from my phone. Until some genius invents an iPhone app that puts certain numbers on lock down after detecting that even the tiniest amount of alcohol has been consumed, I just can't be trusted.

When you first get to know someone it's good to reflect on your conversations and figure out if any inevitable red flags are deal-breakers or just minor annoyances. But when you go on a date with a giant walking orange cone it's best to go home and delete his number from your phone, no matter how amazing looking he is.